


Sometimes you need a little push

by hopelessly_me



Series: How to Mend Our Broken Hearts [3]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Concerned Bucky, Hurt Clint, M/M, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Relationship Talks, Stressed Clint, Working things out, best friend date night, happy Bucky, happy Clint, happy steve, relationships are hard, relationships take compromises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27401182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopelessly_me/pseuds/hopelessly_me
Summary: Clint is having a rough time balancing work while keeping his shaky relationship together. Just when he feels like he is about to crack under pressure he gets the best gift from a friend- real talk, cuddles, and pizza. But it was the gift he received afterwards that makes his night.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton/Steve Rogers
Series: How to Mend Our Broken Hearts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1964884
Comments: 9
Kudos: 62





	Sometimes you need a little push

Clint wants to say he did the hard part. He wants to believe that finding Steve, finding Bucky, and actually talking to them solo was the hardest part; that he has climbed the hill and now he could coast down the other side. It had taken a lot out of him, it had been emotionally draining, but Clint knew this was just a foothold. He knew at any point someone could decide that there was too much hurt and then Clint would have to make a choice- something he was hoping to avoid.

Two months in and so far Clint had accomplished keeping Steve in New York, talking him into staying at his Bed-Stuy apartment with him, as well as convincing Bucky to try to work things out. It was date nights with one guy or the other, but never the three of them together. It was dinners out, watching movies while cuddled on the couch, or video games. It was awkward silences at times, especially when Clint was leaving one of them to stay with the other. So far he hadn’t been able to gently convince either one to talk to the other.

It was exhausting. Clint never felt like he had to work so hard in his life, and that was saying something. He was an Avenger- he had tackled aliens, and superhumans, and even Lady Death herself- and yet all of that seemed to be easier than the hellscape he was currently living in. It was maddening, knowing that the other was alone and Clint was having to balance his time between, well, everything in life. It was knowing that not too long ago he would have forced the two to sit on the couch with his head in one person’s lap and his feet on the others, always alternating between them. He missed the days where things seemed easier.

Clint was pretty sure that today was going to break him. He felt on edge, his patience worn thin, and he was pretty sure with one harsh word from anyone he would cry. The mission wasn’t even that hard- he had been on worse, but his back hurt like hell, he needed to ice his elbow and shoulder, and he wasn’t sure if he just had a headache or a mild concussion, but he knew he could taste metal and that couldn’t be normal. He wanted to change into his comfy clothes, crash in bed, and have someone, _anyone_ , gently rub his chest while cuddled up to him. 

Instead, he was focusing on the damn mind games he had created for himself. Technically he knew he should be going back to his apartment in Bed-Stuy because he had been with Bucky for the last three days. He was pretty sure Steve was going to baby him the most, which sounded appealing for the first time in Clint couldn’t tell you when. He also knew the moment Bucky caught sight of him there was going to be an argument because he wouldn’t want Clint to go. He was trying to prepare for what was going to be said, and hoped it didn’t turn into yelling.

As soon as the jet landed Clint was hauling himself out of his seat, stumbling a few steps sideways with a sigh. He took a deep breath and put all his focus on one task at a time. Walking. Just as he took his first step he felt Natasha wrap an arm around him. He didn’t bother to look over at her, he knew it was her.

“I’m fine,” he said as confidently as he could.

“Of course you are,” Natasha answered.

“I need to go to Bed-Stuy and see Steve- been a few days,” Clint added, taking well thought out steps. 

As soon as they were off the jet he spotted Bucky strolling over and Clint wanted to hide. Never before had Clint wanted to hide from Bucky or Steve, but today was different. The moment Bucky got close enough to get a good view of him Clint knew it was going to turn into a thing.

“Hey,” Bucky said gently. “Let’s get you upstairs and into comfortable clothes. Grab some ice packs and-”

“I’m… I was just about to head to Bed-Stuy,” Clint said nervously.

Bucky looked surprised at first before his expression turned to show how unimpressed he was by that idea. “Clint, you cannot be serious. You won’t even make it up the stairs.”

“Good thing for me I’m dating two super soldiers who can lift more than twice what I weigh then huh?” Clint snapped. “I’ve spent the last few days with you. I need to go see Steve. I can’t just let him-”

“Steve will survive a night without you if you stay here, just call him and tell him,” Bucky challenged, not backing down. Clint could feel his frustrations start to boil over, his eyes stinging from tears he was trying to hold back. “You look like-”

“Enough.” It was firm and it was final. Clint felt Natasha’s hand tighten against his waist, a protective move he was used to. From the look on Bucky’s face, he was trying to decide if it was worth the argument or not. “I have had enough of this. _You_ don’t get to tell Clint what to do.” _Oh good- she is on my side_ . “And _you_ -” _Nope, nevermind_. “-you and I need to have a talk. In my room. Away from idiot boys doing idiot things.”

“So I can’t tell him what to do but you can?” Bucky asked, his anger rising. Clint looked from Bucky to Natasha, to her stillness. Clint normally knew what that meant from Natasha, and he wanted nothing to do with a fight between the two of them.

“Clearly I am the only person in this whole situation who actually has his best interest at heart,” Natasha said, smooth and cold. “Stay the hell away, James. Figure your shit out, figure your shit out with Steve, and come back when you decide what you actually want. Until then, stop keeping Clint in the middle of it all.”

Clint was at a loss for words. Bucky flinched back, not particularly looking at Clint or Natasha. Clint looked back to Natasha, who’s reaction hadn’t changed from the moment she spoke up. When Bucky didn’t say a word, she tugged on Clint, forcing him into motion.

It wasn’t until they were in the elevator and it was in motion that Clint could find the courage to speak up. “Why did you do that?” he asked softly. Natasha was silent on the matter. “I told you I could handle it. I was handling it.”

“You weren’t handling it, you were juggling it,” Natasha said. Clint wasn’t sure if he was mad or not- being mad took energy and he didn’t currently have that. “Clint, listen to me,” she said gently, moving to stand in front of him so she could hold his face. “You tell them they need to get their shit together, or you need to walk away. Because today you made some mistakes, mistakes you don’t make. If it was a harder mission, those mistakes could have landed you in the hospital or worse.”

Clint watched her for a moment before he looked down, feeling defeated. He knew he needed to hear the words, but he didn’t realize just how much they would hurt. He was juggling the situation, trying his best to keep up and make sure everyone was taken care of. The few times he had mentioned something to Bucky, or to Steve, about possibly coming together the air got so thick that Clint back peddled. He was so scared of losing either of them again that he was willing to do anything to make sure he could hang onto both.

“I can’t do this,” Clint whispered, letting the first tear fall before he could reach up and wipe it away. The elevator opened and he followed Natasha out onto her floor. “I can’t keep everything in check. I’m a mess, my life is a mess, my job is a-”

“Enough.” Clint winced before Natasha touched his shoulder. “Time for you to stop thinking for a moment. I want you to go into the bathroom and take a shower. I’ll meet you in a minute with clothes and to make sure nothing needs stitched.” It wasn’t anything he would argue with. He was long past the days of caring if Natasha saw him naked, or if he saw her naked. 

“Nat?” Clint asked before he made an attempt to look up.

“What?”

“I want to cuddle,” Clint admitted.

“Shower first. You smell,” Natasha replied.

“No. No, Nat,” Clint said, catching her wrist. “I mean full on cuddle. I want… I want Clint is sick and needs to be comforted cuddles. Or Clint is in the hospital and not allowed to leave cuddles. More than on the couch and knocked up against each other before you con me into painting your toes cuddles.”

Natasha gave him a small smile, something fond while a little annoyed. It was a Natasha classic and it could melt Clint on the worst of days. “Whatever you want. But self-care first. Shower. Wound check. Food. Then bed cuddles while watching television so we can fall asleep.”

Clint nodded before he left her. His shower wasn’t too long- he was too tired to sit there and do a thorough job. And when he stepped out Natasha was waiting there, holding out a towel. Clint quickly toweled off and pulled his boxers on before he sat down with a groan. There wasn’t a lot of talking involved, there didn’t have to be. Natasha did her thing and Clint would watch at times before he would look away, try to find something else to focus on.

“I know I shouldn’t have gotten involved,” Natasha said calmly. “But I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“It’s okay,” Clint promised. “Your heart was in the right place. And it was something that needed to be said. So… so it’s okay. We’re okay.”

“Would you say the same thing if Bucky decided tomorrow to tell you that he’s out?” Natasha asked. It wasn’t out of anger, it wasn’t even really pushing him.

Clint swallowed before he nodded and looked down. “If he… if he decides he doesn’t want to, then that’s on him. I tried everything I could. There’s nothing else I can do. It just… it sucks, Nat.” Clint looked up and fought back to tears again. “It sucks that I thought I had everything, I lost it, and now I am clawing my way into getting it back. It sucks that at any moment it could all slip away again. But that’s life, right?” he asked. “I can’t force people to love me, or each other. And that’s just the reality of it.”

“You can say you tried your best. That’s all that matters,” Natasha said. “Come on. Dinner should be done.”

“... did you order pizza?” Clint asked, a small smile being pulled out of him.

“If I ordered pizza it would have taken too long,” Natasha answered. “I threw two frozen pizzas in the oven.” Her resulting smile, and offered hand, helped Clint through the process of getting up and getting moving.

They didn’t talk anymore about his rocky at best relationship. They focused on eating pizza, tossing the crust at each other and into their mouths. It was laughing and wiggling their eyebrows, trickshots and declarations of winning. Soon enough, the headache died down to a quiet pulse, still there but nothing like it was. His emotions threatening to boil over were replaced with a warmth he hadn’t realized he missed. And while he knew this was a bandaid fix, something very temporary, he was extremely grateful for the reprieve.

Soon their night ended up in her bed. At first it was sitting cross legged, playing a few rounds of speed between them before eventually it led to what Clint thought he needed most. The television was on and his hearing aids were out. He was curled up against Natasha, her hand alternating between running through his hair and her fingertips grazing over his shoulders and back. Cuddling with Natasha was different than with everyone else. There was no level of awkwardness, zero expectations and no sexual tension. Cuddling with Natasha was like laying down in a sunny patch where the world could just drift by him and Clint didn’t have to worry- it was perfect in a way no one else had ever been able to achieve.

He wasn’t sure what time he had fallen asleep but he knew he was woken up around two in the morning. His watch went off, buzzing his wrist. He scanned the name the text was from before he sat up, rubbing his eyes as he reached for his phone. _Meet us on the roof._ Clint read it again, double checked that it was Steve who had sent the message, and his heart started racing. He didn’t dare hope that it was both Bucky and Steve, too scared to be disappointed. He didn’t want to feel hopeful in case he went up there just to be shot down.

He glanced at Natasha, unsure if she was actually asleep or not. Without another thought, Clint grabbed his hearing aids and climbed out of bed, stiff and sore still. After a few painful, stumbled steps, he was well enough on his way to the roof, wrapping a blanket around himself instead of getting dressed. Maybe if he lacked clothing and this went south it wouldn't look bad when he took off running- he could use the cold as an excuse.

Once out on the roof he caught sight of them both. Steve and Bucky were standing close together though not touching. Steve looked up first when Clint stepped out onto the rooftop and gave him one of those small, apologetic smiles; not his open lipped ones that were more of a laughing it off type but a small, closed lipped _I fucked up_ type. Bucky looked up and Clint would swear he saw it written on his face as well.

“We need to talk- as a group,” Steve said.

“So talk,” Clint said, tucking his nose under the blanket, his feet rooted in their spot. He didn’t want to get closer- he needed to stay near an easy exit. He hated feeling like he needed to be able to run from these two, but he was tired enough where he wasn’t sure he wanted to argue with them either.

“Stevie and I talked,” Bucky offered up. “We are… trying to get on the same page again.” That was something. Bucky called him Stevie, the affectionate pet name that Bucky preferred when it came to Steve. They talked without Clint being anywhere around. Still, it didn’t convince Clint to come closer. Bucky sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Christ, Clint. Just- just sit down and hear us out, alright?”

“It depends on how this is going to end,” Clint said, dropping the blanket from his nose. “I can’t keep up doing what I was.”

“We know,” Steve said. “Natasha made that abundantly clear.”

“Twice even,” Bucky added.

“Twice?” Clint asked before he groaned. “Oh God, what did she do?”

“Nothing we didn’t deserve,” Steve said, calm and reassuring. He tried closing the gap between them slowly. “But it made us realize that we needed to talk to each other, work it out ourselves instead of having you be the middleman because that wasn’t fair to you. None of this has exactly been fair to you.” Steve got close enough that he could reach out and grasp Clint’s shoulder. “So what do you say we finally sit down and hash this out?”

“Can we maybe do it inside?” Clint suggested.

“No,” Bucky and Steve both said.

“I know it’s cold, but this will only take a minute,” Steve promised as he slipped in closer, wrapping an arm around Clint’s shoulders to steer him. “Come on.”

Clint made his way over to the couch, Bucky giving him one of his half smiles as he passed before he joined as well. Steve took up one side while Bucky took the other; Clint had to remind himself this wasn’t a trap of some sort, that he could relax his shoulders, not be anxious. It wasn’t like they didn’t know his tells well enough by now, especially when he was tired.

It was a quiet moment between them, lacking in the tension Clint thought there would be. Maybe it was that they were outside so all of the energy could disperse quickly, or maybe they had actually talked. Clint didn’t know if he wanted to punch Natasha or hug her when he saw her next- knowing him, it was probably going to be a hug and some whispered words about how she is a control freak.

Bucky leaned forward and put his arms on his thighs. “Stevie is going to move back in with us,” he explained and Clint felt that rush of hope. “It’s not going to be easy at first, Clint. There might be some tiptoeing around for a bit as everyone finds their rhythm again. But it should at least cut down on your stress a little.”

Clint nodded and looked up at the sky. He kind of wished they were having this talk out where Steve was living so he could maybe see the stars if it was a clear enough night. Instead he got flights overhead occasionally, maybe the space station- he was sure that came around sometime. Either way, he didn’t have to look at Steve or Bucky through this conversation if he didn’t want to.

“We’ll all be sleeping in our own rooms though,” Steve said. Clint lowered his head and opened his mouth to protest but Steve only shook his head. “It's not saying you can’t wiggle your way into some nighttime snuggles whenever. But it’s a way to make sure you aren’t doing what you were doing, which was trying to balance your time equally.”

“You’ve never worked that way, doll,” Bucky added and Clint turned his attention to Bucky. “You always knew which one of us needed more attention and that’s how you would handle it. We want to go back to that- where we can all be together and be independent, right?” he asked. It wasn’t something Clint could argue with. “That, and you have gotten really terrible again about telling us what you want and need.”

“I think I made it clear what I wanted and needed,” Clint muttered.

“No, you told us you wanted us back a few months ago,” Bucky clarified. “Since then you have been running yourself into the ground trying to keep everything going. You haven’t said you needed a break, or that you were stressed out- you just did it.”

“I _tried_ ,” Clint stressed. “I tried to suggest we all get together, talk it out, and neither of you-” Clint pulled himself to a stop and closed his eyes, leaning forward so he could hold his head.

“And we didn’t listen, or pick up the hints,” Steve completed for him. Clint felt his hand on his back, rubbing large, slow circles. Clint wanted to lean into the touch more, but he resisted. “We haven’t done the right thing by you in a long time, so we are going to start trying now. Which means we need you to be more blatant about what you want and need.”

“I need to go the fuck inside before I freeze my balls off,” Clint mumbled. “I’m just in my boxers and a blanket.”

There was an odd noise to his right and he looked up at Bucky. Bucky looked like he half wanted to laugh and half wanted to strangle him. “When you stay at Natasha’s you just sleep in your boxers,” he said matter of factly.

“I’ve had sex with her, which means she’s seen me in less,” Clint added. Bucky’s eyebrows shot up and he mouthed a wow. “What? It’s true! You both knew Nat and I were-”

“He’s screwin’ with you, sweetheart,” Steve said, sounding too amused. Clint looked back at Steve for a moment before he saw a grin spreading on Bucky’s face. “Well, you said it loud and clear. Let’s go inside so you don’t freeze your balls off. You might want those.”

Steve was the first to get up, helping Clint to his feet. Bucky followed suit, shoving his hands into his hoodie pocket. “How are you feeling, by the way?”

“Just a bit bruised,” Clint answered with a shrug, heading for the door. “I was really tired earlier, that’s all.” He headed inside and to the elevator. “I should probably go back to Natasha…”

“And what? Press your cold ass toes against her leg?” Bucky asked. “She was awake. She knows we were stealing you to talk. I sent her a text askin’ if we could, or if she was going to stab us for trying.”

“Always have to get Natasha’s blessing,” Steve said as if there were the wisest words to mankind. Clint couldn’t help the growing smile on his face. “Stay on our floor with us. We’ll make a big breakfast in the morning, have Natasha join us if she wants.”

“Alright,” Clint agreed. “This kind of ruined my plan for tonight.”

“We’ve got that covered,” Bucky said. “I’ve hogged you the past few days. You can have your sick Clint cuddles with Steve for tonight but tomorrow if we watch a movie together or something you are all mine.”

Clint felt his jaw go slack. “What all did she tell you?” he asked with a whine.

Steve wrapped his arms around Clint’s shoulders and pulled him closer until his back was pressed against Steve’s chest. “Enough to make us finally step up. Don’t worry about that. Bucky was supposed to bring that part up smoother than he did.”

Bucky gave a helpless shrug with a grin. “If we are in the dog house, I am dragging Natasha down with me.” He leaned over before the elevator stopped and planted a soft kiss on Clint. “Get some sleep, alright?” he asked, looking into Clint’s eyes before he smiled softly. “Press your cold ass toes into his shins for me.”

“Alright,” Clint said, feeling his face heating up.

“Kinda miss making you blush,” Bucky said just in time for the elevator to open and for him to walk out. “See you both in the morning. Don’t start without me Stevie- don’t want to roast Clint alive after all his hard work,” he said, never looking back but holding a hand up.

“I can cook,” Steve called after Bucky, his face turning pink at Bucky’s loud laughter. “... I can cook.”

“Honey, you can cook about as well as your average three year old,” Clint commented, stepping off the elevator. “And that was with cooking classes.”

Steve sighed heavily as he stepped off. “Yeah, alright.”

“Hey, can you answer something for me?” Clint asked, turning around. He leaned back against a wall and tilted his head. “Which one of you was the one to reach out to the other?”

Steve smiled softly, leaning against the wall opposite of him. “I reached out. I was the one who started this mess, I needed to be the one to try to… to figure out how to make this work.” He looked down at his shoes, crossing his arms. “I need to find a way to make it up to the both of you. And I’m trying.”

“Hey.” Clint pushed off him his way and leaned against Steve, his eyebrows pulling together. “Hey, you _are_ making it up to me. We’re here. All of us under one roof. That’s all I could ask for.”

“You’re too forgiving,” Steve pointed out, smiling slightly before he uncrossed his arms and wrapped them around Clint instead. 

“Life’s too short to waste time on hating the people I love,” Clint answered. “And if I want to make this work, if any of us do, we need to be a little forgiving, right?”

Steve nodded and kissed Clint’s forehead. “I’m the luckiest guy.” Clint smiled and tucked his head down, pressing his forehead against Steve’s chest to hide his face. “You know you could go join Bucky if you wanted. I know he said that we agreed that tonight could be my night since you’ve been with him lately but… I think he might need you more.”

“You sure?” Clint asked, pulling his head up.

“You sleep better when you’re with him,” Steve said with a bit of a shrug. “I wake up too early and need to move. Then you wake up and sometimes can’t fall back asleep right away and-” Clint pulled him into a kiss. Steve leaned more into it, a smile on his lips which only made Clint’s grow. “Your toes shouldn’t be as cold.”

“I could very easily fix that,” Clint said thoughtfully.

Steve laughed and shoved at Clint. “Go on. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You sure?” Clint asked.

“Don’t make me carry you down there and drop you into bed,” Steve threatened. Clint’s smile turned into a smirk and Steve held his hands up. “Clint-”

“I will literally beg,” Clint said. “Steve. Stevie. Honey. Baby.”

“Bucky is going to kill us,” Steve groaned.

“Bucky loves me. He might kill you,” Clint teased. He took a deep breath. “Oh…. oh no-”

“Clint!”

“My feet hurt so bad. And my knees. I’m pretty sure my back is breaking,” Clint said dramatically, starting to wobbly on his feet.

“Stop it!”

“I need my big, strong boyfriend to rescue me,” Clint said, pitching himself sideways. Steve hauled him up, arm looped around his thighs as he tossed Clint over his shoulder. Clint let out an excited squeal before he reached down to pat Steve’s right butt cheek. “Best boyfriend.”

“You are such an asshole,” Steve said fondly.

“Language, Cap,” Clint sang as Steve walked, putting a little extra bounce in his steps, making Clint laugh. “Right there. That’s the spot I am going to have my face tattooed,” he said, poking at Steve’s right cheek again.

“Keep dreaming, sweetheart,” Steve said. Clint gave a happy little sigh. Soon enough he heard Steve knock before he opened the door.

“... what is going on?” Bucky asked, Clint could hear his confusion.

“He is your problem for the night,” Steve said. With a swing and woosh, Clint was deposited on the bed. Clint roared with laughter and rolled until he was pressed against Bucky. “Be happy- I stopped him from icing his toes for you.”

“My hero,” Bucky said and Clint looked up at the smile as he marked his page in his book. “Thank you, Steve.”

“See you both in the morning,” Steve said. “Clint. Behave.”

The door closed soon after the words had left Steve’s lips. Clint wiggled around until he found that sweet spot and he relaxed. Bucky dropped a hand to Clint’s back and rubbed in small circles until he found a knot to focus on.

“Thank you,” Bucky said softly.

“Mhh-hmmm.”

“Clint?” Clint opened his eyes to glance up at Bucky. “I am serious. Thank you. For all of it.”

“You’re welcome,” Clint answered. “I’m going to be falling asleep here soon so-”

“I’ll take care of you,” Bucky promised. “Sleep.”

It didn’t take too long before Clint was drifting off. Between the back rub and the warmth, Clint was a goner.


End file.
